When the noise stops ‘Window licker’ continues playing in my mind. A constant loop of half assed samples thrown amalgamated into a thick trance that makes me think of a carousel in Niagara-on-the-Lake. Rising and falling with uneven dips, faultering notes and pools of inconsistency. ‘why do you surround yourself with idiots?’ What’s real and what’s a dream, or is there only one question – ‘what IS real?’
If we seriously ask this question in all seriously does it not preside over any other ‘formidable’ question you can think of? Because if something is not real why does it matter? So if you can’t answer the question – is it real? Then what do you know? And what more, what DO you really, absssolutely know? If you can’t prove that something is real then whhyy does it matter? ‘what is the meaning of life?’ what does it matter if life isn’t real? ‘what is true colour?’ ‘is there any sound beyond that of silence, can you bridge all senses using one stimuli?’
It doesn’t matter if you can prove that one of the items in question isn’t real. Or what if you can’t prove it is real – is that not of equal value in dismissing the question? Point is, there’s more knowledge in my father’s favourite greeting than I’m sure even he knows ‘What do you know for sure?’ What DO you know for sure! I am hard pressed to think of anything at this moment other than I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m sleepy, hungry, if I should stay or go, what I’ll do tomorrow, where my pink paint is, why I talk so much, or even if I want people to read this crap. But I do what I do. Why do I keep trying to live a Sagittarian life in a Leoine body? It’s not actually possible (with my current chart) so what leads me to this …. ambition? Why can’t one be happy with their current station in life.. wouldn’t that be the plain and simple answer to all my questions/concerns/problems?
Or perhaps after harping on this for a few years I should give in and try to come up with another answer. I thought that was the answer, but it’s not working. So I should try again. But what’s left to try…