Happy Birthday to a country I’m not in

  Happy Birthday Canada, 140 years is not bad. I think we’ve accomplished a lot in our youth. How many countries are so developed after less than 200 years? I can’t think of any. And we’re pretty damn nice as well as modest. With the exception of me. I never knew how good it was til I left… and probably won’t be back. There aren’t many reasons for me to go back there, sadly. No no.. I’m not trying to insult any of my Canuck friends.. I’m just saying – LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKERS, I SAID -YOU PAY THE FLIGHT TICKET, I PAY EVERYTHING ELSE. SO FRIGGEN COME OUT HERE AND SEE ME ALREADY! Lol.. it’s a good deal, honestly.
   Heheh, considering the prospective poverty I maaay be facing in the next 3 months… you should appreciate that I will not retract that offer. ‘My word is a law unto itself.’ .. something I like to live by.
 
   I do diverge…
 
   These are the less productive days, what have I done lately.. I’m slacking. Which is really bad cause right now is when I need to get a lot of stuff organized and no one can help me do it.
 
   And once I get that done, there’s the real work. Hehe.. the stuff without instructions.. argh I hate that. Maybe not hate.. but dislike it cause it means I have to do some more thinking – COME ON don’t I do enough? hah.. that’s about all I do, think.. and do too little. And between the too I talk too much.. heheh saying things I either don’t mean or doesn’t need to be said.
 
   Aw hell, I’m gonna call my Pa and wish him happy ‘True North’ country day, that usually cheers me up.
 
I do miss home, though it’s only for about 20 minutes til I remember the reality. And the reality is I don’t have a home.
 
  *Rolling ball of contradiction* * * * rolling…
 
   There is an address, there are buildings, most of the trees and the fields are the same as when I was 10… but it doesn’t matter. I can’t claim it as my home.. and shouldn’t. Everything’s temporary.. especially my memory.
 
     Things come and go.. and it’s only what’s in my head now that’s important… wait 2 seconds and it’ll all be different.
 
I never had a Canadian flag before I left for China.
  Never saw any reason.
  But you learn
    to appreciate things  
when they’re gone.
 
    That’s the fatal flaw of all humans. You can see it, solid as fact, at every funeral.
  All these people gathered around to say nice things and reminisce…over someone who can’t hear it now.
 
 What took you so long? HAHAHAHAAaaa…. ahh…
 
   superior beings have one hell of a sense of a humor, eh?
 
speaking of ‘eh’ … the most famous Canadian language adornment… did you know we practically invented ‘double double’ coffee?? Turns out Americans don’t say that. I never knew.
 
   I read something earlier today about how … some municipality or mayor.. blah ‘The Man’ somewhere was trying to limit people buying Roman Candles for the occasion of Canada Day. Heheheh.. something about ‘you know they only use them for firework wars’ … ya.. so.. LOL what’s wrong with that? Hahhaha.. what’s a holiday if someone doesn’t lose an eye?
 
Slight qualm: Developed nations are a bit too safe. Hehehe COME ON if I want to play with fire FREAKIN’ LET ME!!! If I die.. well that’s okay.. it was bound to happen, right? hehehehehee
   Go out by choice I’d say. Not everyone wants to live to be 88.. or.. what is a Canadian’s life expectancy now.. hrm.. google..
  oh sorry.. 81, that’s a bit better.. maybe that 7 years shaved off my estimate could account for the 7 years bad luck I should have for breaking that mirror a few years back. (that really scared me btw.. breaking a mirror)
 
   I don’t know my main point is .. living in a developed nation is a bit like going on a family outing when you’re 6 years old – You can’t do a damn thing unsupervised. lol and it’s not fun. You just spend 120% of your time trying to run away from your nasty mother, who constantly tells you to sit there and do nothing, so you can climb a tree and play with bugs.
 
 cute bugs.. not big ugly ones.. hate those. They are for birds to eat, and even they don’t like them – that’s why we still have ugly bugs. Big problem.. someone should start a petition against that – kill the ugly bugs!
 
                *yawn*
 
  .. bah.. there’s a party being hosted at my house by people who DON’T EVEN LIVE THERE LOLLLL – yeah, figure that one out!
  Worse – I don’t even feel like going LOL … I’m such a bitch.
I’ll probably hide in my room and bring the tequila with me (look I paid for it and I don’t think anyone else can appreciate it the way I do hahah.. so I’m saving them the trouble of drinking it and NOT enjoying it.. as much as I will)
 
  oh … another thing .. Canada.. I swear you were so much more fun ’bout 10 years ago. We’ve got too many laws now and too many stupid people enforcing them – one in Particular that pisses me off – WHO THE FUCK BOUGHT OUR BEACH?? GODDAMNIT, man I miss going to the beach for free.. what’s this shit.. I have to buy a parking pass and can’t go at certain hours.. listen here.. we know it’s the lousy sons a bitches from Toronto that own those beachfront cottages, so they pay taxes – they don’t live there 8-9 months of the year  WE DO and have lived there for generations before them or their punk relatives bout that land and build a huge ol’ condo on it (or unreasonably sized home grrrrr). K.. that’s a provincial problem.. not national.. but still I’m putting it on here cause that really does make me angry.. ruined one of my birthdays.
 
    It’s the little things that I’d call a ‘piss off’ (I don’t like that term but it’s the only one that seems to fit at times), look my father’s an honest guy. And when he comes into the Driver’s registry office with a licence renewal form from his daughter overseas signed and filled out, with her new photo card and willing to pay the fee – wHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY don’t you take it??
  Why do you hassle my father? Owhh that makes me angry. Right, listen here: You c*cksuckin bureau monkey – do as you’re told!
  hahahahah.. at least.. that’s what I would have said. .. It’s no wonder I’ve been thrown out of a few places LOL.. aw fuck it there’s more than one licence office in the damn province, I’ll just go to the next town. Hahah.. I told him to go to the one in Penetang.. he’s too nice.
 Mailed me more papers to fill in.. arghhhh IF I have to go back to keep my damn licence (facing that or ughhhh.. going through the 3 year process.. G1, G2, G crappola again) – I’m going to be fuming. And if you know me – you should already know how much I loooove dealing with anyone from the government – dickheads. Yea I said it, what are you going to do about it?
 
   Haahahhahahahahah.. wow… this is why I write.. I feel much better now, .. I hope no one reads this .. lol
  I know.. I’ll disappear and go skateboarding tonight.. .. hmm.. before or after tequila.. that’s the question…
 
     Someone jokingly said to me earlier (about Canada) ‘The motherland’s been going downhill since you left’ nahh.. they don’t know what they’re missing. You know, like with funerals.. they’re held what.. a week after the actual event of death? .. so At the scale of countries and citizens.. I figure Canada will be crying for me in 7 years. Poor bastard – you had your chance .. give me a break on taxes, find me a job with Full health care (dental’s what I’m looking for), a nice spot out in the country(preferable my own farm.. but I know that’s pie in the sky), lower property tax (so I could buy some goddamn land), and say.. $250 in LCBO vouchers (love those things, fuckin’ gold).(for non Canadians – LCBO = where you get the goods.. whisky, wine, vodka, gin, … Baileys)
 
 
  And to end this rant – I miss my Canada Dry. I don’t get it.. this country seems to get stuff imported from US or UK.. or whatever .. non important countries are out there (liiike France hahah 😉 . What I want to know is who’s stupid idea was it to import CANADA DRY ginger ale from the US? Of course they fucked it up, it’s all sweet and sugary and no ginger.. garbage.. it just makes me want to cry. LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THE CHAMPAGNE OF GINGER ALES! haha.. you  crucified it.. youuu bastards.
 
  That’s all.. I’ve written far more than needed – which was .. nothing. Nothing need be said. But I said it anyway…
                 I take the prize for ruining silence.  
 
                          *  
                                        
                     Yolanda,
           if I give you one piece of advice it’d have to be ‘you’re so money and you don’t even know it!’
               Onwards and upwards!
 
 
Advertisements

About yolandalenin

I talk a lot. ______________________________________________________________________ I write even more.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s