Fools rush in

I feel old, seriously. Not just because people guess my age at 28+ but cause haha I am actually smarter than other people haha.. I’m sure some people will try to argue that fact but they can also try to lift an elephant and probably be more sucessful. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is .. in relative terms I had a rough week last week. Or perhaps I’m getting overly sensitive in my old age? But comments cut me more easily.
  Now this first one is not so hurtful it’s just stupid.
Ahem. DEAR CHINESE MEN do NOT expect a warm reception from me when the first thing you say when you meet me is ‘ni you dade mi mi’ or an approximate English translation: ‘ you have big tits.’ Firstly, I UNDERSTOOD YOU. Secondly- would you ever dare say that to a Chinese woman? No you wouldn’t you f*ckin ass. So don’t give me that shit. If I wasn’t so apalled/shocked I would have slapped that grin off your face.
   The other girls with me: you should take it as a compliment. EXCUSE ME? It’s a compliment to be a piece of meat? NO, Yolanda does not think so. Heheh, I’ve been treated that way quite a bit in my life (being a bartender and waitress etc..) and I never appreciate it. You want to compliment me? Say something complimentary. Like, your comment about Descartes wrting being incorrect, it should be ‘I error there for I am’ haha was rather witty Yolanda. Or, your observations on how Chinese people behave a lot like domesticated Meleagridinae gallopavo obviously stems from experience and accumlated knowledge on both. Or you could just say, my what beautiful eyes you have, they seem to change colour.. do they really? In low light? That’s astounding.
    Any of these are acceptable.
Really, the art of flattery is lost when speaking to non native speakers 😦 It kills me.
  Let’s see.. what else was I called… ah yes.. a fool the other day.. nice. Probably the same ass who also called me a ghost a month ago. Look here dickhead, I’m a human being, which is more than I can say for you. And one more stupid comment and I may just get foolishly hauntily UPSET and tell you exactly how I feel about YOU .. in English and Chinese of course so you can understand.
   Hrm.. no, wasn’t called stupid this week, that’s nice.
   Actually left the city for a day on the weekend. That was nice, I always find it easier to speak to people who don’t have their heads in their ass.
   I didn’t say that..
    And if you don’t know what I’m talking about -that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.
   Oh I realized WHY I carry my ID around with me. It’s not to buy alcohol haha or whatever else I like.. no no it’s to prove my god damn age 😦 ARGH.. man.. I remember when I used to get IDed.. buying wine when I was 22, even 23 and it was great haha.. u think I’m 18? Fuckin’ A! hahah.. I even got IDed when I went home last year 🙂 such a compliment hahahha.
  Here.. what the hell.. man I swear just BEING in China ages me 5+ years. And I DO have wrinkles.. despite what my roommate might say to try and quell my fears of looking like a grandmother. She also noticed my lips curve when I sleep in my chair at work LOL  
Right, it’s not the fact that I listen to music from the 1950’s that makes me old it’s .. you know it’s not even me. I don’t care about my age too much, but when people draw attention to facts.. I’d like to fade into a shadow somewhere and go home.
  I was feeling kindof down oen day last week and decided to blame it on my age (that is the fact there’s another birthday coming up) and of course Kate didn’t just agree with me like she should have hahah and I probably would have shut up there. She said ‘no you don’t look old’.
 To which I say  ‘oh yea?’ hahhah.. and put a new teacher on the spot heheh asking him ‘how old do you think I am?’ Hahah.. now all men should know that’s a tricky question to answer.. so I think he lowballed it .. and he said ’27 or 28?’ HAHAHAHAH THERE! told you Kate.
Next day.. I asked for it.. I’m such an ass. So at dinner with some Americans I posed the question again, … *sigh* I must like pain? stupid.
   ‘Aw, you can’t much more than 30’  Jesus christ I hope not hahahah that’s 6 years ahead of my time already :S
  So I told him my real age, without blinking his reaction was ‘Holy Shit!’ LOL hahah and Ben said to him ‘way to hide your surprise there.’ Aww man, shh.. that was actually enough to make my cry later on hah.. when I tried to write this the first time. :/ But don’t tell him that.
  Hahahah he tried to patch things up, as you do, by going on about how ‘mature’ I am. I’m too smart and too mature for my age …
  Right, so to be younger I just gotta act stupider? And not demonstrate insight into people’s lives? 😦 That sounds too easy haha but.. I don’t want to.
   As much as I bitch, I wouldn’t like to be anyone BUT me. I’ve worked for years to get to who I am today. And I realized what a huge insult to me it is when hahah someone .. barely .. implied that I should change HAHAHA, I can’t. Not because it’s an impossibility to me, but because I don’t want to .. and I wouldn’t choose to.
   If being able to take care of myself and the few people I care about, being able to get myself out of any situation without a scratch, being able to outsmart heheh not a small amount of people, understand 99% of the people I come acros or at least see them eye to eye, and slowly but surely increasing my skills (such as playing pool) makes me old.. then *sigh* I guess I like it that way.
  And hey if I keep aging at this rate maybe I’ll retire next month? Haha, try and explain that to my bank: yea I’d like to take out my RRSPs now cause I look 65 LOL. "oh yea you do, sure here’s your money’ hahah
   You only live until you die – and that’s the plan.
  … at least teaching dinosaurs makes me feel better – haha they’re older than everybody. And I think I’m definately cuter than them.

About yolandalenin

I talk a lot. ______________________________________________________________________ I write even more.
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