Yeah so, December’s almost here.. which means spending bonanza for most ‘Western’ civilizations. Canada’s included in that, being in the vicinity of consum-o-politan U.S. of A.
That doesn’t really concern me though, I just did my usual ‘you’re not getting anything’ announcement to everyone I know – and a few people I don’t know .. whatever, who do they think they are anyway?
What does concern me is my lack of capital or.. abundance of 0 and – . That.. uh gets me down. At first my usual habit is to grab a leaf off the victim tree and ask ‘how did that happen?’ … sadly, an alternative ego of mine has decided it’s imperative for me to collect ALL my receipts argh! That totally blows my usual internal explanation of: it must have been nymphs. Damn nymphs must have taken my card and bought some trees or something.. water fountains.. whatever nymphs spend money on.
Unfortunately, no more whimsical excuses. I now have a paper trail which (when I use a calculator) (and ONLY when I use a calculator) seems to add up to the eexxact amount that other people say I owe.
… it’s like they’re math psychics and I’m … the .. opposite. What is the opposite of psychic? El Thicko? hrm.. seeing as http://www.dictionary.com has no Antonym listed when I type in psychic .. I’m going to assume it’s because you either are or aren’t one. So.. the opposite of psychic is not a psychic or.. me… at least when it comes to math. I’m pretty good at guessing who’s calling or how many people are coming to eat dinner though. … shut up, I have few skills – what have you got??
Back to my poor m.. no.. no.. my non existent math skills. Through some typical (very typical) Yolanda math .. uh.. I came up 358.63 short.
Not my favourite math. I prefer the math where I totally screwed up and have a credit on my account for hehehe putting an additional 0 on the end of things. That’s not a bad mistake to make. 358? how the hell.. argh. That’s not even a cool number. Look at that. Do you see it?
Yea, No 7s. Not one. .. 8? get real. 5? Never was a fan of them. I’d have to say that if any number is a murderous, criminally aggressive, stick-you-in-the-liver-for-a-hot dog kind of guy.. it’s five. What a jerk.
I usually like 3s but.. not .. in this case. I guess it could be worse.. like 733.33 or 7358.63 but.. .. nah, not even thinking of wors-ier case scenarios is making me feel better. Sometimes that works, like.. if you had a shit day and woke up late, missed some thing (like a bus or class or appt.) realize your car needs to be repaired.. or ruined your sweater.. or your shoe broke (and you had to wrap it in duct tape like a girl at work tonight hahaha) then, you um.. lose your bank card or.. something so you can’t buy dinner/lunch.. and when you get home the power’s out so you need to find candles to find your insurance papers to pay it cause it’s overdue…
…I think a redeeming thought would be ‘well, at least I didn’t fall out of a plane into shark infested waters with a bleeding cut on my left calf.’
hrm.. I guess 358 dollars is a little easier to fend off than Jaws.
Hurray worst case scenario!
In other news, I’ve been thinking – I should take up gambling again. Now now, hear me out before you sigh and shake your head. I enjoy the horse races, I really do.. it’s a great way to spend an evening and if you play the min. – it only costs about 20 dollars. With the potential of increasing (unless you bring Rebecca your badluck charm.. seriously, how does she crush my luck EVERY time??? argh, seems I do better alone but it’s less social.. I just yell at the horses.. which isn’t even fun if it’s cold outside. Like I want to stand in the snow bitching horses out as they run around the track.. so much better in warm weather).
When you think about the odds, the money I spend.. and compare that to something worse.. like say – the lottery. It really makes race tracks seem like Santa Claus.
Have I ever told you I hate the OLG? Well I do, with a passion.. but still.. not as much as I hate CIBC. Odd. Perhaps once I close my bank account I can redirect my hatred?
ohhh I can’t wait .. can’t wait. But I’ve been thinking it over for the past 3 days and.. I don’t think I can dodge their damned ‘service fee’ for November. God damn CIBC. My only hope now is that it’s only the standard $3.75 and not some ‘oh so you got smart and decided to ditch our parasitic establishment for some other slightly less so? We’ll just take this last chance to gouge your cash eye socket one last time – for the memories.’ You know they’ll do it. You just know it. Anything less wouldn’t be CIBC. Pfft, more like “IAB” Imperial Ass Bank, please give us your money, we’ll be imperial – you’ll be the ass.
.. I feel like.. .. hrm.. yes.. like I’ve gotten off topic.
Yet, no.. I haven’t because this is my blog.. and my word and.. hell this is my Palace. If you don’t like it.. well you already left so hahah.. I’ll just continue typing to myself.
So yea, aiming for 0 in December. A whole 0 not a -0.
It sucks because just the other day I said ‘I need a plan’ and I came up with a plan.. but then today had to happen and blow it to bits.
Sucks when today happens.
So, I need to sort myself out again and write some Christmas cards.. which I will then start the age old postage debate ‘to mail or not to mail.. is it wrong to hand someone a Christmas card in February?’ Hand delivering is so.. .. touching, isn’t it? More heartfelt. I feel like that’s an easy sell – “yea I didn’t pay 57 cents to mail it to you because I felt it would cheapen the whole free card w my chicken foot scrawl on it.” *shrug* So.. if you don’t receive a card before Dec 25th.. you know why. OR it’s Canada Post’s fault – entirely possible.
Man, if this keeps up I won’t be able to enroll in my South African University!
Hahaha if you don’t know what I’m up to lately, that may have sounded like a joke.. but it’s not.
I should sleep, and dream of plotting.. or just skip the dreaming and sleep plot. Yea, that sounds more efficient.
Night world. Hope you’re aiming higher, cause if we’re all aiming for zero.. that’s shitttttt.