The following should have been posted February 7, 2011.
Do it right the first time.
Good advice but odd how it came into my head today. I woke up with a song in my head and since I had no pressing matters I decided to delve a bit into my head in search of dream remnants.
I didn’t. Instead, what did come to me were two ‘saved emotions’. Do you ever consciously decide to save a moment? Yea, but then there are those times where it’s default. You don’t really want to remember it but.. something inside of you makes that call and won’t let you forget. That was an autosave moment.
It’s like an amber glob holding not only visuals but the exact emotions you felt at that time.
These weren’t pleasant ones. My mind quickly brought back two deaths in succession – perhaps to compare them? The first replay was one I did well. Quick, bloodless and – as much as it is possible to believe – painless.
The second was an execution I had to do days before the first replay above. I botched it. Not only was the cause for this my error… it ultimately ended in further .. um.. error. Totally my fault. I felt terrible. And coincidentally, still do.
In this case my sympathy made it worse. It was my emotions (pity?) that caused my first blow to be insufficient. Thus requiring another… and undoubtedly the bird felt both.
It’s only right then that I should have to relive that episode .. to .. remind me? I don’t know, I have no idea why that came into my head.
Is it supposed to be some hard way to learn a ‘moral of the story’? Like, it doesn’t matter where your heart was – half-assed is half-assed. Do things well the first time. Yea, let’s go with that.. I don’t know what else to do with this story…
Further thinking, questioning led me down this path to think perhaps that memory was stirred up by reading one of my favourite info sites hahah Chinasmack.com.
The link takes you to one article in particular… you know, while we’re on the subject of dead things. A further question posed is.. I recall a friend of mine assuring me that death can be sensed before it happens and animals commonly clue into it. In his story he cited a cat knew when his grandmother’s heart would stop.
Now, I ask.. because I have this belief; there is a wisp of soul that lingers even after death. Perhaps I picked this up from listening to too many Dali Lama tapes but.. I think there is some truth to it. Whatever essences there is within us lingers for a time after physical death.
Or the more practical people would argue .. the weasel knew it was his friend by his sense of smell.. like a dog he tracked him to his present location but couldn’t comprehend his friend was dead and not just sleeping.
Anyway, enough on death.. it’s a very vague topic I will never claim to know and really, even if I had claims who could prove them right or wrong??