man, you must be hard up! haha!


You gotta smile.

I’m taking a break from my homework to relay a short story.

I needed correction fluid, so I went upstairs to get it (I don’t keep it in the basement because due to the cold temperature down here it solidifies. Same reason I don’t keep batteries down here. Seriously, the cold actually drains my laptop battery faster 😦 suck ass). Upstairs I found a little pile of mail for me.

Mail makes me happy. Male Mail coincidental homophone? I think not 😉

This one included an invoice for a bill I already paid, a paycheque, an acceptance to a university (don’t take it too seriously.. I don’t.. if you knew the name of the school hahaha.. anyway that’s not actually what made me laugh), and.. another meaty envelope from one of my employers.

Hrmm… this is interesting, it’s not my birthday.. feels like a card.

.. heheh.. hehehhe… at first I was confused like ‘oh shit, are they charging me for something??? Did I make some horrible error in an account and now I’m a fugitive for fraud or tax evasion…. ugh… typical.

But no, MORE hilarious – it’s an offer to become a ‘financial advisor’ LOL


you want me to .. hahahahahahahha.. lol…

hehehhe.. advise? people.. on ‘finances’??! good god man!

If by ‘advise’ you mean – ‘tell stories’ and ‘financial’ means ‘to small furry animals’.. then okay! Sign me up!

But actually advise on actual finances?? Have you SEEN my bank statement? Me neither, I tend to close my eyes ha! I’m an idiot with numbers (and that’s being benign) .. wtf..

To take a line directly out of the paper: “the last year was difficult from a perspective of growing the number of financial advisors in Canada.”

How freakin’ hard up are you that you’re asking me?! LOLLLLLLL

It just screams desperate. hahah and I can’t stop laughing .. haha

All I can picture is this:

Yolanda’s ‘office’ being something of a cross between a bare bones casino and fortune teller’s tent. I’d have the works: curtains, candles (or maybe not if it’s a rented office- fire hazard), crystal ball, Ouija board, darts (complete with some.. chart of funds/stocks to throw them at), and some big spinning wheel like ‘Price is Right’.

Actually, that’s pretty awesome. And it’d all ring to a sort of chocolate brown, ivory and teal/med. blue colour scheme.

BUT NO, the point is DO NOT ever, under any circumstances give Yolanda your money! LOLLLL.. that’s just ludicrous!

*incessant giggling*

oh that reminds me, I turned down fifty dollars today. Funny cause that’s more than I make some days working legally hahah. I was too elated from the fact the same person gave me some new (new to me) records (vinyl). I love music.. so much, I’m pretty sure if the were no music – there’d be no Yolanda.

Fact: Yolanda can live on music in place of food for a couple of days. Possibly longer but I have too many tasty things around to eat to bother trying. I just know I can go 48 hours because I forgot for a while.. happens when you’re busy with other things.

haha.. I STILL can’t get over this.. and further, it appeeeaarrs to be a form of a referral .. meaning.. some sod who actually knows me (or my name at least) told this company to consider me lol.. and.. hahaha.. they didn’t know well enough NOT to listen? HAAHAAH… what were they thinking?

K, to summarize: Yolanda is most probably the worst candidate to ‘advise’ anyone or anything on money matters. Hell, I’d hire a llama before myself.. and those suckers are not trustworthy.

For future reference: Neeeverr trust a llama with your lunch. Tricky bastards.

But hey, if you’re all about the day trading and but just don’t have the time to be guessing everyday.. um.. here’s my offer: You sign one nicely worded waiver as provided by me. Turn over your cash.. or banking info.. and um.. yea.. cross your fingers! heheheheh…

financial advisor.. lol…

If this is the funny shit that happens on the days I turn down fifties what happens on the days I turn down hundreds?

Fact: the first million’s the hardest. 😉

Listening to Jimmy Cliff at the moment:

“…ooh the harder the come the harder the fall, one and all.”


Oh, if you are a person who actually is good with numbers and/or people or feel that you are a suitable candidate to ‘advise’ peoples on their ‘finances’ (usually retirement). Contact me and I’ll hook you up. 😉

About yolandalenin

I talk a lot. ______________________________________________________________________ I write even more.
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