We just know

 

Yet another useless study: U of T wastes time and money to conclude that women can spot gays faster than straight men can

pfft.. not news. Of COURSE we can do that. It’s innate.. whhyy? Because who wants to mate with a gay guy?!

Yea, I stand by my words.. I said ‘mate’ not ‘fuck’.. my words are totally clear here.

And now to poke fun at various snippets of the article.. ahem:

“…science has identified yet another characteristic of the elusive ovulating woman: she is better at picking out straight men from the gays.”

elusive?? Um.. it’s a monthly cycle.. occurring to all female mammals (with possible exception of people getting Depo shots and some – not all – IUD users.. and a few other cases). What makes ovulation so elusive?? We all do it.. I’d say.. even men. *tilts head and raises eyebrow* they do have a cycle.

“A slew of…

EW, wait a second.. don’t compare me to a slew.. do you even know what that is? Or what it smells like… not pretty… ugh

       ….strange ovulation phenomena have been uncovered in recent years as scientists track how the female cycle impacts mating practices.”

Screw you and your use of ‘phenomena’ I say, no more using ‘phenomenon’ to describe something that has been occuring as long as you have.. I mean you’ve.. argh.. AS Long as HUMANS have been on the earth. HA! And you can’t argue that.. what are you going to tell me there were humans before there was ovulation??

“‘It’s interesting because it suggests that there are factors that influence the way we perceive and evaluate people without our knowing it,’ Rule says.”

… uh yea, it’s called ‘racism’ under normal circumstances… *looking for news… looking looking..*

“portmanteau”

wtf is that? Did you just make up a word that looks suspiciously like ‘porpoise’ to try and distract me? Thinking that everyone just loveeees dolphins so I’ll come away from this article with a warm fuzzy feeling? EPIC fail! I’ll tell you why – I don’t like dolphins.. grr and I don’t like this word either.. if a porpoise and a manatee were together during a storm … portmanteau is exactly what would happen. = yuck.

“When scientists added a little romance to the equation, women became even better at determining whether men were gay or straight.”

… .. arghghghgh.. you are so annoyingly pointing out the obvious I wish there was a way to virtually slap you. Let’s think about this.. so you’re a female.. and you’re trying to get things started with a most handsome man YOU think is a run of the mill metrosexual.  la la la… why is he still soft? … la la la.. ok, why isn’t he looking at me? … why does he not really want to fondle my tits … or.. well.. he doesn’t seem to be very interested in me at all.. and keeps his eyes closed… I’m getting the subtle feeling he may .. not .. be totally into me.. I guess I should have opted for the pink heels instead of the grey pumps with this dress.

… do I need to say more??

hahaha… yes

A further comment on the fact that women had no special skills at deciphering if a fellow female was a carpetlicker or not:

“’That suggests they’re not hyper attentive to everything, just men and sex essentially,’ Rule says.”

Admittance: at first I read that line ‘attentive to anything’ heheh and I thought ‘RIGHT ON! You got me pegged dude!’ hahahhahahaha… on rereading it I’m a little disappointed because.. it does leave the gate unlocked for us to think of other things outside of the two possibilities = sex and men. Which.. really, if you’re straight is the same thing. It’d be like baking without flour, corn on the cob without silk that gets caught in your teeth, elephants without smell … sex without men = boriiiing/safeeee  … same difference.

“And if you really want to make yourself like someone, seeing a rom-com or flipping through a Harlequin before date night may give you the evolutionary push you need.”

wwhooooaaa doggy. That.. is.. no.. take that back. Person (woman) who wrote this article … are you.. suggesting that women who have dates read Harlequins ??? Jesus.. are you trying to turn them into spinsters? Have you even lifted the cover of one of those things… I can hear cats meowing in surround sound when I do. Here’s a contraceptive ultimatum for you: on a date pack a condom in your purse or a Harlequin novel … one has what’s it 96% success rate the other 100%. Chances are you don’t need to worry about family planning.

*still shaking head* I can’t believe you wrote that.. young impressionable minds could read this article.. how careless.

 

To round this off, if you’re still with me.. I’m going to tell a little story this immediately reminded me of..

long long ago, in a town called FallsWell (name may have been changed to protect the not so innocent) there lived a girl .. a spiteful girl. A girl who would call a boy ‘Fag’ daily.

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being a fag… as long as you know that you’re a fag. If you don’t.. we have problems. Cause.. I don’t want you fooling other girlies.. and.. most of all, I find you handsome and wonder why you don’t look at my boobs (insulted!).

So, this girl decided to drag her flatmate/roommate (for those of you from North America who know it’s not actually sharing the same room) to a party .. which was held by another friend of hers. Who.. incidently, had come out long long long ago. See, I don’t hate fags *shrugs*. I don’t think I qualify for the ‘faghag’ title.. but I’m quite happy about that.. who wants to be a hag? 😦

Anyway, she used the party as a sort of ‘coming-out’ for her fag friend.. who never admitted his true feathers. She quietly met with the host of the party in a kitchen setting and asked him ‘so, … what do you think?’ to which her friend replied ‘no, he’s not gay. He wears too much plaid!’

The kicker is that a few months later said nonbeliever was together with said fag and though I’d like to say they remained together happily ever after.. it didn’t happen. But .. it was and.. perhaps still is a great ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ incident for me hahahahah hehehehe Win!

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About yolandalenin

I talk a lot. ______________________________________________________________________ I write even more.
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