It didn’t start out this way. I swear.
I fully intended to write about the downward spiral occurring in ‘developed nations’ (i.e. Canada), and the narrowing of the valley of free speech to a single lane, dimly lit hallway. But no, I came online and started splashing around in pools of 90s and 80s videos. The idea came to me to make a list, yes of course! The internet needs another list.. worst something or other. And in my adventures to find the very worst, best, camp, cheesy, poor, stupid.. I thought ‘I’ve never seen a Spandau Ballet vid… surely it’ll win a prize for something (mine are not the kind of prizes you want to receive)’
Enter “Gold” by Spandau Ballet
*shock and awe*
I want that one! So, here’s my ‘prize’ for Tony Hadley:
I love this man. Seriously, at first I had my doubts. I thought Spandau Ballet was gay because, well 1. because of the name.
2. The weakness of ‘I know this much is trruuue’ blah, and
3. the line: ‘like a hard prison wall, and you could leave me standing so tall’ um..what??
He says it at 2:50, and oh noo don’t cry baby! Oh okay good, we got the eyebrows back to “suave mode”. Is he holding a watch like a guitar? Then lets it swing.. mm reminds me of something… masculine.
*rewatch!* mmm… you know I love men with dark hair.. yum yum. “Oh but I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you! Gold!” ♥ the passion, ♥ the emphasis,.. sir.. meet me in your bedroom. Pronto. My love as yet hasn’t been described as a ‘prison wall’ but I’m sure we can come up with something.
And the award for Best Straight man in a video from 1983 goes to Tony Hadley in “Gold”. Most definitely.
What does this mean for the competition?
The award for “Men who need a masculinity lesson from singer of Spandau Ballet the most” goes to: Tears for Fears “Pale Shelter”*
Freakin’ Tears for Everything more like. God you guys are whiny. I like “Everybody wants to rule the world” as the next pre 90s kid but still.. grow a pair. What’s with the burning iron in this video? Is this song about a housewife (you) rebelling against housework ? .. ugh. Bring back ‘Gold‘ mmm I’m seriously falling asleep to that tonight, might have to be muted after the 10th time .. whatever, men don’t need to talk. Just look .. tasty.
Love a man confident enough to wave the gun around, look out 1:55 oh! Do it again come on, 2:07 YES! Oh I’m done honey. *blush*
* though technically ‘Pale Shelter’ was released in 1982 I decided it was the best ‘anti-gold’ video for this post. If you want my backup choice, here it is: “I’m still standing” by Elton John 1983. Come on, ladies (straight ladies) which would YOU prefer to wake up beside??